Why Choice Matters for Our Dogs

Dogs don’t need total control—they need more choice. Here’s why I let mine decide more, and how it’s changed everything (for the better!).

Why Choice Matters for Our Dogs

Having choice is really important!

A life where you don’t feel in control of anything can seriously affect your mental and physical health. That’s true for us—and it’s just as true for our dogs.

How Much Control Do Our Dogs Really Have?

Think about what choices your dog has on a day-to-day basis. What do they actually get to decide for themselves?

I like to think of myself as a good dog owner. But let’s be honest—I make a lot of choices for my dogs. I choose what they eat and drink, how, when, and where they eat and drink. I choose where we walk, how long for, whether they’re on or off lead. I decide who they say hello to, who they play with, when they leave the house, and when they go to the toilet.

That’s a huge amount of control over another being’s life!

A lot of this comes from the environment we live in. There are more rules, regulations, and social expectations around dogs now than ever before. Life in the 21st century can be tough for our canine companions.

Dogs Then and Now

When I was growing up in the early 70s, it was pretty normal for dogs in the UK to roam freely—even in towns and cities. They’d be let out in the morning and come home at teatime.

Our family dog wasn’t one of the roamers. We had a big garden, and we didn’t want her getting hit by a car or wandering onto the railway line. But looking back, I realise she was in the minority. Most of the dogs in our street were free spirits—trotting around, scavenging from bins, peeing on everything, and pooping on the pavement. Unthinkable now!

But you know what? They looked relaxed, happy, and content.

So nowadays, I try to think creatively about how I can offer my modern dogs more choice and control—safely, of course.

Choice in Sleeping and Resting Spaces

My dogs have lots of options for where to sleep and relax. They’ve got free run of the house most of the time, including the bedrooms. I keep old duvet covers on the beds and throws on the sofas, so they can settle where they like.

They also have their own “triple decker” dog beds: a raised bed, a memory foam mattress, and a big cushion bed on top… plus two blankets. Yes, really! It was the only way I could persuade Reggie to sleep in his own bed at night—by making it comfier than mine!

Choice on Walks

I let my dogs choose where to go and what to sniff on our walks. That’s not always easy with two dogs, since they often have different ideas, so I walk them individually whenever I can.

Luckily I have the time—and these days I don’t own a high-energy collie, so shorter walks are fine. I often don’t plan a route. Instead, I let my dog decide the direction. If we’ve only got half an hour, we might not go far at all. But they get so much mental stimulation from sniffing—it’s tiring in the best way.

Too much high-energy exercise leaves my two wired rather than tired. A sniffy walk is perfect.

Choice in Training Sessions

I love training with both of my dogs—but it’s never compulsory. They need to want to join in.

If one of them wanders off for a sniff, that’s great feedback for me. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough. Maybe they’re tired. Maybe I asked for something that felt uncomfortable. Communication needs to be two-way, and I need to listen to them too.

Sometimes we train together with one dog settled on the sofa while the other works with me. Then we swap. If one of them decides to opt out for a bit, that’s totally fine.

My dogs are companions, not competition dogs. We’re not doing obedience or sports—training for us is about building our relationship and having fun. So we can afford to be laid-back about it.

The Problem with “Take Control” Dog Training

These days I get a bit sad (and frustrated) when I see so much training advice on social media that talks about “taking control,” being a “strong leader,” or using “corrections.”

I’m a positive reinforcement trainer. I believe in cooperation, not coercion. I believe in giving choice wherever it’s safe and practical to do so. For that, I’ve been labelled an “extremist.” WTF?

But I didn’t get dogs so I could control them like robots. I don’t expect total obedience from the humans in my life—so why would I expect it from my dogs?

Why Choice Matters

Allowing free choice, wherever and whenever I can, helps my dogs thrive. They feel safer, calmer, more confident—and our bond is stronger for it.

If that makes me an extremist, I’ll wear the T-shirt proudly.

Have fun with your dogs!

Trudi